I just quit my job. My adult, professional administration job. A job that has supported me amply financially. As I look around the office space I’ve spent the last ten years occupying, the emptiness of it all seeps in. I’m astounded that time passed so quickly.

I moved back to my hometown almost 14 years ago. I had left to make my mark on the big, big world. Instead of conquering it all, I came home to save up money to move in with a boy who wanted to marry me. It’s always a boy isn’t it? I should have known then, that instead of moving directly in with him, I justified my furlough by saying I needed time and money before we could set up our lives together. Really it was just a ploy to waste time before I could drum up the courage to call it all off. When I finally did break his heart with my cowardice, I found myself back in my hometown right where I started. I had dreamed of big city lights, sophisticated dinner parties, and a corner office with a view. With no money, no degree, no skills for a good paying job, I set my goals high to attain all that I had dreamed of in the big city but squished into my small hometown.

Looking back, I was ambitious in my attitude. I worked hard at our family-owned restaurant to begin to pay off the debt I had accumulated. I enrolled in a distance bachelor program I could complete online and distance learning classrooms. I applied to different positions within the community I believed would give me a leg up into the “professional” world. Eventually my hard work paid off and I landed my first “office job” at our community college. It was part time, but I was elated. I had finally checked off the first of many goals I had wanted to accomplish. The job was intimidating at first, I had to learn new software skills and I wasn’t used to the bottomless pit that was data entry, but things got easier, and I was given more tasks to do.

The work environment was happy-go-lucky. My coworkers were fantastic, and we laughed and joked constantly. By the time I had reached the end of my first 6 months I had been promoted to assistant. I was making more money than I ever had before and to celebrate I took my whole family out to Olive Garden for dinner on my dime. Keep in mind that though I am single, my family includes grandparents, aunt and uncles, cousins, sister, niece, and my mom. It was the most expensive meal I ever paid for and though it hurt handing over my debit card at the time, it has been one of the memories I am most proud of. I was able to purchase my first car. I was able to pay off the rest of my credit card and medical debt. I was content in the little life I had built for myself, but you’ll know by now that that fulfillment didn’t last and there was always something missing that, at the time, I couldn’t put my finger on.

Time progressed, and things began to change at the college. I learned quickly that funding a community college is quite volatile. Budgets decreased like crazy as the economy of Wyoming bounced all over the place. Pretty soon we were in constant cycles of budget cuts, and I was always on the defense of losing my job. A big budget-cut hit about halfway through my career at the college and my mentor and best friend/coworker was laid off in the cuts. It was devastating. During that time, I was also passed over for the job of manager of my now small department of 1 and was absorbed into another department with all the duties of a manager, but not the title.

It was a lonely time. I was trying my best to not feel guilty about keeping my job when others who had been at the college far longer than I, had been laid off. I was trying to be grateful for the position I had, even though I felt envious of the person who had gotten my promotion. I was a bundle of emotion, frustration, guilt, and ungratefulness. But above all that I was prideful. Humility was lost on me in this season of my life. I had been at the college for 9 years. I had gotten my master’s degree in higher education administration, I could do my job with my eyes closed, and I felt like I was superior to all of the work I had been doing thus far. I had climbed the ladder, I had gotten an advanced degree, I had bought a house myself, I could buy whatever I wanted. Me, me, me, I had done it all, a strong, independent woman, capable of doing all the things alone.

But I was so unfulfilled in this life. I was so confused as to why I wasn’t happy. I had done everything our society says is admirable. I had made it right? Unfortunately, I was oh so very wrong. But God gives so much grace, far more than we ever deserve and it took a full year to realize how very wrong about my life I had been. It wasn’t I alone who had “made it” in life. It was God who had given me all of these opportunities and I had completely shut him out and taken all the credit and showed zero humility. 

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

Philippinas 2: 3-4 ESV

My big revelation about my life began after I attended a Bible study in the Fall of 2021. I heard a whisper from God in this study about humility. That whisper grew to a roar and during the next year I learned so much about humility and how God is the one who gives us talents, or leads us to better opportunities-not us alone. I’ve leaned hard on this Bible verse for much of the last year and a half, and it puts into perspective how my life had been going up until this revelation.

“Beware lest you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth.’ You shall remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth, that he may confirm his covenant that he swore to your fathers, as it is this day.” Deuteronomy 8:17-18.

“Beware lest you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth.’ You shall remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth, that he may confirm his covenant that he swore to your fathers, as it is this day.”

Deuteronomy 8:17-18 ESV

It was a punch to the gut for sure, but after the realization that I am not enough, so came the realization that with God it will be enough. It will be fulfilling. I will have joy. And after I learned that lesson (took me long enough huh?!) I felt free. I felt like I didn’t have to rely solely on myself for that joy. Which was amazing, because I definitely was not in a joyous place with my life decisions over the past 10 years. 

So after constant prayer, reading the Word, asking for confirmation after confirmation (we can get into that more if you’d like) I quit my job. I quit to follow Jesus. I quit to follow His will for my life because my will for my life sucked. And this is where we landed. A faith-filled blog about my life, an unconventional way to answer the call of the Great Commission. My life has changed radically since I handed the reins over to God. I’ve put my trust in Him to lead me wherever He wants me to go.  My hope is that I’ll find a person or two who may not know who God is or how much love He has for us, and they’ll get to know His love through this blog and want to follow Him too. I also hope to encourage my brothers and sisters in Christ and let them know our kingdom journey with Christ can resemble many different paths and that together we can show this fallen world love, kindness, and grace just like Jesus shows us every day. 

Yes, I quit my job. And I have joy like I’ve never known. Will it be easy? Nothing is ever easy. Will it be worth it?

“Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21 ESV

I would say that is a resounding YES!